we miss you nanny

the end of july came and with it brought a few weeks of Nanny not feeling well. during those two weeks she became weaker and weaker and by the end of the second week she was not eating very well and barely getting out of bed. still i figured she would bounce back. still i had hope everything would be okay. but a few weeks before what would have been her 95th birthday, my nanny passed away....peacefully and quickly and with her children all with her. it was a hard phone call to get as i was clearing dinner from the table. but i knew when i saw my phone ringing it had happened. i dropped the things from my hands and was full of sadness. our strong nanny...who had been there for all of us every step of the way...was gone.

that night i cried so hard, i fell asleep staring at the picture i always have on my bedside table of nanny and carly and i at the beach when i was little. so much of my childhood and life was full of memories with her. the next morning i told the girls. they were pretty simple about it and i was relieved for that. more questions came as the day continued and through the week. they got sad at bedtime a lot.

that day i posted a picture of nanny and sammy wearing birthday hats from kinsley's birthday this past december and i wrote... i love you Nanny....my childhood is full of memories with you that make me smile....playing SCAT, chicklet gum, summers at your Ocean City house, when you would say "someone's gonna end up crying" when we were getting too wound up, the poems and letters you sent me in college, and listening to your stories of the "old days". Watching you play baby dolls with my girls...folding laundry and listening to me as a new mom all those quiet afternoons...well i wish it didn't have to end. You will be so sadly missed. 

we celebrated her long, full life at a wonderful service and lunch here at Emmanuel Lutheran Church...aunt Linda and Aunt Nancy did a great job speaking about their mom. then we continued the memorial to NJ where we gathered with all the family, from near and far. it was so special and sad and a memorable goodbye to our beloved Nanny. The church service, cemetery burial and luncheon made for a beautiful day. I read a poem (wish i hadn't read it so fast, ugh) that she had written about the beach and Dad spoke about how much he loved his mom. It was something i will never forget. All the men of the family, including Tyler served as pallbearers and wow was that something to see. I was so proud to be an Elmer and to be together in Bridgeton with my family. of course...how strange it was not to be sitting next to Nanny, passing out chicklet gum and holding her soft hand.

you are the best Nanny. the best. xo

the feel better banner the girls made. they went with me to visit her the day before she died to hang up their banner in her bedroom. i layed down in the bed with her and she was pleasant and happy to hear me ramble on. darren was there arranging the flowers he had brought her. she later came out to the couch but barely had her eyes open. i sat next to her and held her hand. when i kissed her goodbye she held my hand tighter and said...come back soon. that would be my last memory. (the girls' banner hung in her casket and was buried with her)






before bed the girls had a lot of concerns...it was an emotional time. 

my favorite picture of all of us with Nanny....one year ago on her 94th birthday with a canvas the girls painted for her. the girls painted shells and glued them onto a frame that we have this picture in in our living room now.


the next week we flew to NJ....


sleepy Thomas made the flying part easy...


reunited with their cousins...after a long day at the church the kids were happy to play.


the day after the service we all went to ocean city and enjoyed the boardwalk and re-lived our memories there. it was a full day of doing all the things we grew up loving about ocean city. after regretting not taking any pictures on the sad day prior...we took a family picture on the boardwalk. it puts a lump in my throat. i love my family so much. nanny would be smiling down on us. i know it. 


so glad to be with her uncle blake. it always feels better when we're together. 


realizing this was Thomas's FIRST trip to ocean city and his first time tasting only the BEST pizza of all time. yum! 


thanks to mom and dad, and aunt nancy and uncle bill and lauren and phil for treating the kids to all kinds of tickets to ride the boardwalk rides. the swings were my absolute favorite. seeing sammy up there for the first time on the same swings i loved as a kid....woah. full circle moment. 
later aunt linda treated us to mini golf and mermaid toys too. we ate junk food and bought hermit crabs. talk about cramming it all in...hehehehe


making a special stop at our friend Jen and Dave's house to join in on a kids summer craft party. 


hotel fun with cousins...its as if they were never apart....melts my heart.


t was a happy traveler, through and through. xo